AMOR FATI : Love of Fate

It usually happens with many of us that we try to find solutions to overcome the challenges that we face in life and emerge stronger for that time, only to forget later in life the very trick that gave us strength in our moment of weakness. So, when something similar happens again, you feel that I have already overcome this obstacle before and wonder, then why am I not able to do it again?

For this reason, this post had been long pending since ages, when I first realized how important it is to embrace the events happening in my life in order to live peacefully, to think clearly and to act courageously in every situation life throws at me. 

It's better late than never. I got the push to give words to my thoughts on this blog post when I recently came across a latin phrase "AMOR - FATI" which translates to "Love of one's Fate" in English.

We are often told that our greatest assets are willpower, decision-making and discipline. It’s also what we see. Most of us wouldn’t be where we are without hard work or ability to change our circumstances.

And so we come to expect that the world will always respond in kind. That it will do what we want. That things will more or less go our way.

It’s this, I think, that makes a relatively simple and straightforward piece of advice so hard to accept. Especially when we’re young. Especially if we’re ambitious.

Acceptance. It’s just fucking hard.

Not just hard because it means tolerating things we don’t like, but because it feels weak. 

What am I supposed to do, just let things be? 

Yes. Yes, exactly.

People are going to be a certain way, events will occur as they do. Shit happens. Bad shit.
Not only that, but there’s the little stuff too. People are rude. Things are said. The weather is nasty. The news is disappointing.

“Life is a game of dice. Even if you don’t throw the number you like, you still have to play it and play it well.”

This is where acceptance comes in.



Look, if you were in the car with friends and they seemed to take traffic signals or road construction personally, you’d consider them insane. Yet, this is the equivalent of what most of us do. We get angry at the signs. We say: But I don’t want it to be true. Maybe if I grip the wheel real tight, it will change things. Maybe if I yell or breathe really really hard…

Because why? Because things are supposed to be another way?

C’mon.

You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it…

The world around you, it is what it is.  

The events that happen, they are what they are.  

The people in your life, they’ll do what they do.

Accept them. Understand them. Empathize with them.

Here is an excerpt From Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday:

Thomas Edison

At age 67, Thomas Edison faced a tragedy when one evening a man came rushing down to his house and informed that -
“Mr. Edison , a fire had been broken out at your research and production campus!”

When Edison reached the spot , he saw in front of his eyes - years and years of priceless records , prototypes and research turn into green and yellow flames. His empire was being burnt to ashes.

Edison calmly but quickly made his way to the fire , through the now hundreds of onlookers and devastated employees , looking for his son.

“Go get your mother and all her friends,” he told his son with a childlike excitement - “They’ll never see a fire like this again”

WHAT??

Don’t worry , Edison calmed him. “It’s all right. We’ve just got rid of a lot of rubbish”.




Pretty amazing reaction isn’t it? 

How did he remain so calm in a situation like this?

The TRUTH is that he had no other choice. Crying/Pondering was not the way out.

HE ACCEPTED HIS FATE AND MOVED ON.

After that tragic incident , Edison built his lab once again and did more sales than he ever did previously.

The take away here is "Learn To Love Your Fate".

If it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it.

Next time when something bad happens to me, I will remind myself: AMOR FATI because

 

I accept whatever has happened to me and because this has happened, even though I don’t see the sake of this situation right now, I know in the near future - ALL OF IT WILL MAKE SENSE.